It's officially the 31st of December 2008, and I thought I'd write something here in my dusty ol' journal for what may be the last time.

The recent absence hasn't been due to anything but the lack of time and commitment given to this little site of mine. Life has been a constant whirl of things happening one after another yet too little time to keep it all recorded in some virtual paper. I've tried time and again, but realise it's much too time-consuming for me to do it on a regular basis.

As much as I love to write and find comfort in expressing my thoughts here, I sometimes think it's a waste of time. Not in a general sense, but just personally. I let my opinions be known, or have lively or serious conversations to friends and people that I meet already, and I think, "This is enough for me." I don't need a blog then,

So while I contemplate what I should do with the contents of this page, whether it'd be better if I just delete them all, or keep them private, I hope that whoever out there who's reading is has had a fulfiling and beautiful 2008. I know I have, and I hope that whatever comes my way for the new year will be exciting and wonderful.

Goodnight and Happy New Year strangers.

I've been obsessively surfing iPod commercials on YouTube yesterday. It's sooo addictive! (And this coming from a Creative user lol!)

Ch-ch-check these out!

The Caesars 'Jerk it Out' 2005

U2 'Vertigo' 2004

Jet 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl'

Daft Punk 'Technologic' 2006

Gorillaz 'Feel Good Inc' ( I really dig this one)

(Favourite band of the moment )THE TING TINGS!!! 'Shut up and let me go' 2008

And finally, the awesome-ness that is Coldplay - 'Viva La Vida' 2008

NOTE: Ok this was written like over a month ago and unfortunately because there's just so much to tell, I kept having to save this draft day after day till I had more time and now that the time has come, it has been way waaaay overdue, but heck, I'm still going to post this thing up. If you'll notice, towards the end I'm gonna go lazy and just post photos. HAHA. No surprise from me la, am forever overdue on updates. Ok so here it is! Our post 5th year anniversary getaway!

Back from my too-short holiday in KL. I miss it already . But you know what? I've had the most beautiful time there with Man, and we've shared so many great memories from it, it's brought us closer than ever.

So let's have an overview of the 4 days that we spent! (I'll put up an album with more pictures - should I make it private?)

Our transportation of choice. The least possible risk of going through a jam or an accident. Plus it's cheap!

Happy nye.

We slept right through the journey (it was an overnight destination), and at abt 530am, we decided to walk the whole stretch of the train to the end where the food lounge was. That was a pretty bumpy one, and we felt like trespassers as we walked by 50 or so beds and chairs, with some passengers still sleeping.

The food lounge carriage. Just after taking this photo, the train conductor came in and called out "Morning call! Next stop Central Kuala Lumpur!" Then we both looked at each other from across the table and grinned like little kids.

The train stopped right at where the sign was, right in front of my window! Good omen, good omen!

Monorail to Bukit Bintang where our hotel was awaiting!

Now throughout this time, I've never mentioned where our exact hotel stay was at when we were in KL. And one of the reasons why I was sooooo excited was because of where we were going to stay.

The Ritz-Carlton.

DAMN RIGHT BIATCHES!! RITZ-FREAKING-6 STARS-SUPER DISCOUNTED-CARLTON!!

So now you know why right? We had the opportunity to stay in a lovely place and right from the beginning we were treated like royalty.

16 shots of happiness.

The view of one half of the Twin Towers from our room.

Power right? See la, uploading all these photos is making me miss the hotel so much already. The gigantic feather-pillowed bed, the air-con, the butler service (yes, really, not joking), the view, the fantastic service of the hotel staff......*Sigh* Ok, back to the story.

We headed to Pavilion KL which is - I'm not exaggerating - GIGANHUMONGOUNORMOUS.  If you happen to be in that area for a holiday, you cannot miss Pavilion. It's quite impressive,

Halal Carl's Jr yay!

After a lot of walking around checking out the sights near and around our hotel area, we went to catch a movie in Pavilion. Golden Screen Cinema was KL's answer to our Golden Village, and we were glad to know it's just as comfortable, if not better than GV. Spiderwick Chronicles sucked though. We went back to our room by past midnight, and this was what greeted us.........

The night skyline of KL. Breathtaking.

The next morning, after having a complimentary breakfast at the hotel's resident restaurant called Rossini's (apparently named after an Italian composer, and not a Malay makcik as what I had initially thought. I was half hoping that a tudung-clad makcik would emerge from the kitchen wearing an apron come up to us and say in heavily-accented Malay "Ah hello, how is de fooood? Sedap or not Cik Ros cook for yoo all?" HAHA!), we decided to head to the Muzium Negara.

Only 2 Ringgit. And for a good reason as well. Honestly, it was a complete bore. Don't get me wrong, Man and I do love going to places with a lot of history and stuff and we especially like going to museums, but this one only seems to have 2 galleries, Malaysia past and Malaysia present. Even the first gallery didn't have many appealing old artefacts or very interesting facts about their history. It was almost as if it was restricted in informing too much about its political or cultural backgrounds. We were hoping to read up about Malaysian royalties or UMNO or something, but...bluergh. Nothing. So I'll skip the pictures.

Headed to Berjaya Times Square after that, which was also rather disappointing, except for the unique indoor theme park with the huge rollercoaster built in it.

We soon realised that Berjaya was the hotspot for the youths of Bukit Bintang. We saw so many mini Mats and Minahs it was scary. They were obviously around the ages btwn 13 and 17 because, similar to our Singaporean mini M&Ms, they were clad in baggy jeans and wearing fake branded shades (indoors? Not cool.) and were in groups scattered everywhere on the theme park floor. And then there we were, these two foreign idiots obviously not their age, walking around pretending to blend in. HAH.

After this, we sat down at Dome cafe for a while, planning our next place to visit. By this time we kinda dropped the idea about trying to find the right mall to cater to our shopping needs because it seemed that we accidentally made the 2nd day's outing to be more of a food outing. So, we decided to head to that one place that Shai kept pestering us to go to........

Shai urged us to visit Bisou because of their cupcakes, but personally, we both preferred its food over its cupcakes, hee.

Man with his Thai Chicken Salad.

I had a simple but very tasty tuna sandwich.

Fantastic presentation, but not the best cupcakes I've tasted though.

But we definitely enjoyed ourselves at Bisou because of the friendly staff there and their quaint little shop is a sight for sore eyes. Felt like we were sitting in a doll house almost.

It was getting a bit late and our initial plan to go KLCC where the twin towers were had to be pushed back to the next day. So to squeeze the last few hours before it got late, we decided to make a quick stopover to a place where our colleagues kept mentioning we should go - Chow Kit.

What a major mistake.

The place had the most dangerous vibe about it, we could literally feel it as soon as we got off the monorail. The men were looking at us obviously knowing we were foreign, they were sleazy looking, and all we found was this stretch on a wet market selling nothing but fruits and food, rubbish everywhere...*shudder* We left after 15 or 20 mins there.

We called it a day, and feeling completely tired from all the eating and walking, we couldn't wait to go back to Le Ritz for a nice shower and dinner. Imagine to our surprise when we opened the door to find the housekeeping done!

They made our bed!

This was my ultimate surprise - they actually arranged our toiletries neatly on the sink! Arrange toiletries lei!! So damn impressed lah!!

That's not all! I went back out from the toilet and noticed at the side of our bed was....

Complimentary chocolate piece and bottled water with GLASS! HOW THOUGHTFUL!!

I tell you, that was the point where Man and I felt really taken care of and pampered.  

Day 3's agenda was to "die die must find a good place to go shopping" to make up for Day 2's lacklustre shopping finds. So the two places we wanted to go were Mid-Valley Megamall and KLCC of course.

The only pic I took of MidValley Mall. Hee. Lazy.

So bla bla bla we got some stuff over there but because of the lack of time we didn't manage to cover the entire mall. Headed back to our hotel for a change of clothes and then....it started to rain. Heavily. Dressed but unable to head outside, Man suggested we wait at the hotel lounge and have some drinks while waiting. I was a little hesitant to fork out more money just for tea and coffee, but....it was too pretty to be passed.

So dainty right?...Once again we felt pampered.

After a while the rain seemed to be less heavy so off we went in a cab to finally see the splendid KLCC! (I've never been there before so you can imagine my jakun-ness/suakoo-ness)

View from the cab.

A silly card which we didn't get to use btw

Ahh, another thing that's extinct in Singapore..

I was pretty much awed by the gargantuous heights of the twin towers, and with the lights, it truly was a spectacular sight of a mega structure.

It was time to head back to our hotel, and then it started to hit me that it was our last night in KL. I suddenly got so sad. We were having so much fun spending time together in a big new unknown place, it sucks to think that this fun was coming to an end and we had to go back to boring work and routine and blah S'pore. Our only consolation was the fact that the next morning, we were going to Sunway Lagoon for some more fun and craziness. Haha yup, as pathetic as this may sound, I have never been to Sunway before in my life. So the last day, we were going make the most of it.

The last time in that wonderful hotel *sob*

Cheers Ritz! You made our stay there unforgettable.

In the cab to Sunny Sunway!

Er, not what I had in mind dear.

We did the Extreme Park and Wild Wild West which were great choices.

I've always been chicken shit when it comes to roller coaster rides no matter how safe it may be, so I have to give myself a huge pat on the back for braving myself to take some of the rides. Also, Man was so excited I didn't want to let him down and be a spoilsport. Oy vey, the things I do for love.

Yes I repeat I'm chicken shit so he had to go alone.

So that was the outdoor Sunway, and then we went into Sunway Pyramid to eat and basically explore the mall. Found a gem of a place called Star Archery if I'm not mistaken.

The arm hurt.

My lousy shots haha! But it was fun!

And then with a bit of shopping and a quick bite, *gasp!* it was time to go! Go back to Ritz, pick up our bags, and then...and then....back to Singapore. Nooooo!!....

Unfortunately that was the reality of it, and I really got so sad as we arrived back at our second home where we had left our luggages while we were at Sunway. Seeing that we still had about an hour, Man though it'd be a good idea to sit at the lovely lounge again for one last time.

The musicians of the lounge band were SUPERB. The pianist was also the singer and his voice was completely jazzy and so in control. The waitress who attended to us the whole time approached our table and said we could write down song requests for them to play. Awesome! So we chose 'My Cherie Amore', 'The Way You Look Tonight' and 'Yesterday Once More'. They completely blew us away with their smooth jazzy renditions of the first two songs, we were snapping our fingers and swaying side to side and singing along out loud, to heck with behaving properly! Then when they ended with The Carpenter's classic, there was again that pang of sadness that just swept over us. When the line "It's yesterday once more, shoobeedoobang bang.." came up, Man and I looked at each other with that sad, nostalgic look on our faces. Sighh.

With that, we said our goodbyes to the Ritz staff, hopped onto a taxi to KL Central where our night train to Singapore was waiting.

Morning Chua Chu Kang.

We had the best time ever together and it's one that we won't forget in a long while. Our first trip together to celebrate 5 years. I'm over the moon.

I will be on a train to Kuala Lumpur with my boyfriend/best friend/travelling companion/bodyguard.

*SUPER FREAKING STOKED!!!!!*

Bye Singapore! Hello shopping paradise!!

One gets a little nostalgic as another year draws to an end. A bit too early for me but, well, present circumstances are allowing me to sit back and rewind the past events that I've gone through in '07. (The background music of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" at the restaurant next door might have something to do with it too, I think.)

It's so cliche to say this, but I truly believe that this year has whizzed past so incredibly quickly, as compared to previous years. A lot has probably got to do with the fact that I'm no longer bound by the chains of education. Things are different everyday, it's not waking up in the morning thinking, "Oh I gotta get to school on time today." Now it's "What's there to do at work today?". Priorities expand to include what to do with my life (this time, really thinking what to do with it), how to go about it, etc, but with it comes the freedom to decide when to fulfill these priorities. That, in my opinion, is probably the best thing about not being a student.

Also, as opposed to previous years, I've never been more enthusiastic about ushering the new year! There seems to be more in store for me and all the planning that I've been doing is just making me raring to go and do it now! I might get a little too carried away, but it's nice to know that there's a major "goal" to work towards to and for once, it's NOT a distinction in English or Science, but rather, a destination, for example. I'm probably way ahead of myself so before I type anymore, I think I'll stop here. *secret smile*

Here's an early Christmas greetings to all who've passed my site, enjoy the year-end holidays and welcome 2008 with a bang!

For 27 years I’ve been trying to believe and confide in
Different people I’ve found.
Some of them got closer then others
Some wouldn’t even bother and then you came around
I didn’t really know what to call you, you didn’t know me at all
But I was happy to explain.
I never really knew how to move you
So I tried to intrude through the little holes in your vanes

And I saw you
But that’s not an invitation
That’s all I get
If this is communication
I disconnect
I’ve seen you, I know you
But I don’t know
How to connect, so I disconnect

You always seem to know where to find me and I’m still here behind you
In the corner of your eye.
I’ll never really learn how to love you
But I know that I love you through the hole in the sky.

Where I see you
And that’s not an invitation
That’s all I get
If this is communication
I disconnect
I’ve seen you, I know you
But I don’t know
How to connect, so I disconnect

Well this is an invitation
It’s not a thread
If you want communication
That’s what you get
I’m talking and talking
But I don’t know
How to connect
And I hold the record for being patient
With your kind of hesitation

Eh....I don't know what to write about lei!

This is like peeing after holding your bladder for 3 hours!! You know that feeling?! That feeling of absolute RELIEF.

I actually miss blogging.

So now I'm finally back, and I'm using the free wireless from a cafe. Yes. For now.

First things first, in case anyone hasn't been informed yet, the reason for my brief disappearance is because I've moved house. The whole time I've been writing rather morbidly and angsty was the stress of having to move to a new place for the first time in my life. It hasn't been easy for me since I knew about it months beforehand, and I suppose I didn't want to feel a lot worse by writing it all down. So now, after the painful process of packing up all my stuff, having to throw away a lot of things that meant something to me, having 2 sleepless first nights in my new room, having all my stuff on the floor, I think I've finally adjusted to the new place. It's actually just 15 minutes away from my old house, but it feels like I've moved into another world or something. Everything is just different. There were a lot of adjustments to make in terms of taking transport, and even little things like going to the shop downstairs. And because I haven't got a shelf or bookcase yet, majority of my things are still in boxes. When I recently wanted to connect my modem to my laptop, I realised I couldn't find the main plug which in turn means I still cannot go online. Pfffttt. I didn't think I was this dependent on the Internet to keep me occupied, but well, I guess I am.

Other than that, I've gotten myself a new phone! (Like, finally.) It's the Sony Ericcson K810i which I absolutely love love love love lurrrvve. I've taken some pictures I'm not sure if I can upload it here, because as I have previously declared shamelessly, I am a dummy in technology and I will take months to figure out how to do something on the computer.

Ok let's try it now.

Oh! There we go! I did it! In less than 2 minutes! Alrighty here's more!

Current wallpaper on my delicious handphone.

Vicky, Yihan & Ruzaini in the train.

Vicky and Yihan attempting to look like they're really having dinner. A miserable attempt.

Trust Yangtze to come up with a title like that for a R21 movie. Smelly.

Ok too many photos to put up and cafe is closing up real soon. I need to pee badly right now too. Hahahaaha. Oh yes. My galpal in my poly clique called me up recently and dropped a mini bombshell - she's getting engaged!!! WOW! The first from our clique to (almost) get married! And she's only 20! Oh my dear, my dear, such a young young age to do that, but we all trust that you are moulded for marriage yes? After all the teasings and idle talk about the future, it suddenly seems so real when one of us finally does take that step. But I'm so so happy for you and I can't wait to attend your engagement ceremony hun!

Ok ok gotta go. They're stacking up the chairs ahahahahaha. Till the next update!!

I just remembered that I haven't watched an R21 movie since I turned 21 in July.

Oh. my. freaking. gawd.

Right. I shall make my next movie session an R21 one then! HAHA!

And in other random news, Scan sent me a stupidly funny sms at 2:18am:

Life is tough...full of difficulties..sadness, and pain.

When you fall,

remember to stand on both feet with confidence and say

KANASAI!! WHO PUSHED ME?!

She must be very sleepy at that time I think.

Real-life drama. You can look at it in two ways - amusing or "menyampah" (urgh-ohmygod-stop-it-already!)

In this case, I find it both amusing and menyampah. Come on la everyone, let's just all learn something from this. Writing in a blog comes with a responsibility to a certain extent. To write about something or someone and being aware that your blog can be read by the masses, there is an open risk of causing offence to a particular party. Therefore, however emotionally-charged you feel at that point of time in writing, one must always, always remember to refrain from mentioning any names or provide blatant hints that would cause misunderstandings. Because at the end of the day, the consequences will lead one to heated responses. Unless you're prepared to take the heat, never put yourself in the position of receiving critics that you cannot handle. Words can be taken out of context, or even when they're not, people wouldn't be able to accept such straightforwardness.

It's a situation that could've been avoided. But when it's happened, there's nothing else you can do except Laugh Out Loud.

Coming from all different directions. I'm seriously close to blowing my top. Not in that slamming-doors-rebel-against-all-authorities way that I normally do it. Instead I'm going for the be-as-civilised-and-politically-correct-as-possible. It's not working. But the circumstances are such that it's not in my position to be angry at these people, because it's ultimately for my own good. I think. I don't know what I'm talking about already.

It's just that the exact same things are echoing each other both at work and at home, only difference is its context. I'm pressured enough as it is, with my own self worrying about these things, I don't need you all to come add on to that worry and responsibility. I hate that. Perhaps it seems that I don't care on the outside, but the truth of the matter is, I am having a hard time accepting things as they are and I don't want to face it head-on. I'd like to have some encouragement, not reminders. Support, not naggings. Is it too much to understand?

How do I describe it? It's just "Arrrrggggghhh fuckkkk leave me be caaannn??". That's the only way I can describe it.

And now because of this, I am half-regretting what I wrote in the communications book for the colleague. My words can be appallingly sharp and cold, I wonder where I find the means to suggest something so subtly and yet be so straightfoward at the same time. "Rest assured that we're not slacking or whatever yeah?". I am hoping so much that he understands where I'm coming from. I'm not pissed at him (not entirely), I just feel that it's slightly unfair. If he decides to bring up the matter when I see him tomorrow, I won't know where to start. I get where he's coming from, that what he sees is a lack of motivation to do a good job, but it's not as bad as what he's assuming. You'd think that with what I would explain to him, it'd convince him to change his mind? I doubt so. But then again, I hope he's not the sort. Like what I wrote in that book, if circumstances were different, it would definitely be better than what he'd experienced. I just feel that it's unfair to judge our work attitude based on merely a few days of having an overload of tasks to do. I know my capabilities, and granted, although not as efficient as him, I still do maintain a sense of urgency in what I do and always feel a heavy sense of responsibility when I have no choice but to leave my work for others to complete the next day. All I hope is that he shows just a little more understanding for it.

On the home-front, well. I just cannot be bothered to say it here. I'm just still not accepting it as well as others, and I won't know what can push me to start doing something, to get a move on before it's too late. Probably Man can help, but can he find time to do so? He's my only hope right now, and I should probably start getting him to help me.

Urgh. I'm gonna sound like a 14 year old right now. Life sucks at the moment.

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

And yes, once again, I am back to my nice, no F words self again. I tell you...the things I say when I'm having my monthlies sometimes scare me.

So the aftermath of that whole staff party episode ended with me speaking to my lovely superior (hereafter known as exec), whom I report directly to. I finally felt like I've unloaded ALL my anger and frustration as I spoke to her, and really let someone from the management know how I felt. She was totally cool with it, and to cut the long story short, all is well again. Except for the part about losing my respect for the GM. I'm still not giving him face, and still not being nice to him or acknowledging his existence. HAH. (I'm not the only one anyway, so it makes no difference).

Ah well, that's work life for you. Nothing is perfect.

October's coming up real soon. And I have so many people having their birthdays on this month!!!

SCAN==> Chewren's Day. I buy you Chupa Chups lollipop k? HEHEHEH! Kidding...21 redi liao, must celebrate extra special ok!

Sister==> Usually I just say a Happy Birthday, so this time round no difference la hor. (yaayy...save money...)

DEE==> WOMAN!! What you want for your 22nd?? Roses? Shopping vouchers?? How bout just meeting me? I'm the best present for anyone, hahaah!!

QIULIN & NEPHEW==> One turns 20, the other 2. Awww.......

DEAR==> He's turning 26. Yikes. But as long as you're young at heart, sweetheart. Age is but a number, no? Heehee...I've got something planned for him already (as always, planning waaaay ahead...) and this year's gonna be a little bit more extravagant now that I'm working!

Ok did I miss out anyone?

The day of the party itself. Even more disappointing to know how much of an idiot the people I'm working for are.

Congratulations Mr General Manager. You have succeeded in upsetting my fellow colleagues who were working their asses off for Wed's inspection by the CEO. And not one breath of apology, not one breath of thanks, not one gesture of appreciation, not one sign of guilt, empathy, compassion whatsoever. You are indeed doing a fantastic job of being a manager.

Instead of all the above, what did you do? You went outside to join the rest, partying, drinking, eating, and you even had the "courtesy" to hurry us up and asking us to finish our work quickly so that we can all join in the fun like one big happy dysfunctional family. WOW. I'm touched. Really.

Did we look like we were in the mood to party? Did we look like we were revving to load up on the free food so much? Did we look like we don't feel a thing to see 95% of the staff are outside enjoying themselves while the 7 or 8 of us are left to have trolleys of books to arrange?

I asked myself in the midst of what happened last night if I was being petty or childish to be feeling so angry over this. But when I think about it, isn't it my damn right to be feeling this way? I'm pissed off about the lack of etiquette being shown by the management throughout this whole incident. None of the executives, much less the fucking manager, approached us to apologize or gave us an explanation as to why the store had to close as per normal. We had to hear it from other colleagues. And all of you were simply rubbing it in our faces. Asking us to "eh, come outside eat first, eat first" was NOT the way to make us feel part of the whole party. It was doing the exact opposite. You made us feel even more targeted as the ones who had to work a full shift, the ones who are victims of unfair treatment.

I will never EVER look at that manager the same way again. I have completely lost all respect, or what's left of it, for you, I have completely lost all faith in this company, just 2 months into working here. I will work to earn my money, and you would expect nothing more from me. Shame on you for all your lack of actions.

The only ones I want to thank are Nai and Julie for being the only people who truly cared. THANK YOU GUYS.

I cannot escape from it. Bosses/authorities who are complete and utter morons who do not give two shits about their employees. Why? Why are they an inconsiderate, self-absorbed, stingy, calculative bunch of idiots?

Today had really gotten me into a bitch fit. Thank goodness (sort of) for my monthly you-know-what for arriving at an appropriate time when I was feeling absolutely cheated by my own company. Seeing that it's the fasting month, I knew that I would've broken my fast because I was literally swearing to anyone who would listen to my rants.

The workplace had planned a staff party that was to be held on Monday. Weeks and weeks beforehand, we were told that the store should be able to close slightly earlier, although exactly how earlier it was not mentioned. As the day of the party came closer, we had news that the store would close at 9pm, only 1 and a half hrs earlier. The party was to be held within the store only and food would be provided. Ok, fine. Budget-conscious, it was understandable.

Then later on, we were told that there was going to be a theme for it - hats. Ok fine, adding to the fun atmosphere whatever. For every briefing, it was emphasized that the store was going to close at 9pm. Staff that were working on the afternoon shift (me included) would all be done at 9pm and join in for the party that was planned to start at 8. Acceptable.

But TODAY, just only ONE DAY before the party, one of the supervisors came to me and said, "Tomorrow you just come at your usual afternoon shift time ok? The store will be closed as per normal."

EXCUSE ME?

I asked her, casually, "Oh. we didn't get approval to close the store earlier?"

"No, we couldn't."

Then she ran off to inform the other staff members affected about the last-minute change in schedule.

So is this their way of giving a staff party? Ask their staff to work a normal full shift and then expect them to join in the 'fun' a full 2 and half hours later?? At 1030 pm?? What the fuck kind of staff party is that!? It's as good as not having a party at all because what is the point when the staff can't even enjoy themselves properly?

It's BAD enough that we are holding a staff party WITHIN OUR VERY OWN WORK PREMISES AND NOT AT HOTELS OR RESTAURANTS LIKE HOW OTHER COMPANIES TREAT THEIR STAFF TO EVERY YEAR, but you can't even fucking get approval to close the fucking shop a mere 1 HOUR EARLY?! What the hell kind of effort are you putting in?

What I'm so angry about is the fact that #1: It was told at the very very very last minute,

and #2 MORE IMPORTANTLY; The management had recently extended the store closing hours to half and hour later for Fridays, Sat, and eve of public holidays, informed us immediately without hesitation and implemented swiftly no-questions-asked, and yet, for a one day occasion, it's so hard to even get the store to close an hour earlier. This is ridiculous!! A fucking excuse to not want to lose business at the expense of the staff's well-being! This is the very example of a calculative and stingy management who cares only about profiting and squeezing every ounce of energy from their employees, and who don't give a fuck.

Well. You know what? I'm not gonna give a fuck either. Fuck your stupid hat theme. Fuck your party. Fuck the management. Tomorrow afternoon, I am punching my card for work, then do my work as usual, and as soon as I finish my shift, I am going to walk out of the store. I'm not gonna bring some shit hat, I am not going to eat your food, I am just going to LEAVE. I will not participate in a party that is meant to be for staff. Because if you had cared for your staff, you would have fought to seek approval to allow us to enjoy ourselves proper. But you did not fight hard enough for us because you don't fucking care.

So fuck you.

I don't know what came over me but I started Youtubing videos of The Corrs, an Irish band that I used to listen to when I was younger, and it triggered a reminder of how much I love the Irish culture. The music, the language, the rich and tumultous history, and especially the wonderful landscapes.

Who wouldn't be captivated by spectacular wonders of nature like these?

The Giant's Causeway

Rathlin Island

It is truly a piece of heaven on earth.

When I look back on my childhood I wonder how I survived at all. It was, of course, a miserable childhood: the happy childhood is hardly worth your while. Worse than the ordinary childhood is the miserable Irish childhood, and worse yet is the Irish Catholic childhood. People everywhere brag and whimper about the woes of their early years, but nothing can compare with the Irish version: the poverty; the shiftless loquacious alcoholic father; the pious defeated mother moaning by the fire; pompus priests; bullying schoolmasters; the English and the terrible things they did to us for eight hundred long years. - Angela's Ashes, Frank McCourt.

Reading the other kids' blogs reminds me of how much I've outgrown all this. Fleeting crushes, subtle hints of likings here and there....if weblogs existed then, I would have done the same things. But thank goodness it didn't.

But I can't help but feel that they have crushes because everybody else does and they feel the need to want to attach their emotions to another person. Peer influences I think. I mean, when I was in a youth theatre group at 13, it was the same situation. Someone likes the other, someone else dating the person the other person likes, someone breaking up with the person and going with another person people least expected...It was more of a social club than anything else.

But they're kids. And kids will move on from that phase. But what if it happens to supposedly young adults? If someone older were to observe, would we be considered just the same as the kids? Maybe the way we go about it is different. Less kiddy. More dangerous. Why so? I can't put a finger to it, but I suppose it's dangerous because we supposedly would have developed more maturity to be able to exercise self-restraint and discourage such feelings or thoughts. And it's harder to do that. I guess the only way I can think of is having the person out of sight, and therefore out of mind.

Hm. Too deep man. I'm thinking too dangerously deep.

Out of sight, out of mind. Out of sight, out of mind.

Move aside Rihanna! Mandy Moore has completely outdone your song! I LOVE IT!